My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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