if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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