Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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