I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
