I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
