i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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