Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
