He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
