I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
