She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
