Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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