How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
