Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?