i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize