She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
