so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
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I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
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Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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