Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
