sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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