and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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