Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
