my mouth tastes like poor choices
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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