I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
