I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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