just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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