Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
