After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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