She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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