I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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