I wannas sexs uuuuu
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
