Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
