Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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