I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Less talking, more tequila
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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