I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
i've created a new STD.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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