I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Randomize
