@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
