I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
