I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
