Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
