The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
