I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
