i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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