Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Randomize
