You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
