I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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