why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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