Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
