If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
