hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You need Xanax blowdarts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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