Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
