i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
