I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!