I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I don't think brook has ever known best
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
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