Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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