then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
