the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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